i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
