you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
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I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
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I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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