We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize