? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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