go do what you do best...puke behind churches
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
