But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Terrible idea I love it
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
