Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
