can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
