I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
