The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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