Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
