capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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