i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize