me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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