She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
