I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
