Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
