honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
