Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She said her name was "party"
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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