There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
vagina is talking i cant
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
