I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
