Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
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We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
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Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
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