i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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