He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
pray to the hookup gods
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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