he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
