these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
