new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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