i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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