the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize