dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
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I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
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I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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