I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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