I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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