Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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