so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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