Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
