So drunk, too bad you don't want this
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
