i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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