Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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