Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You can't special order awesome
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
