You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
