What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
