I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
