Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
