I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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