the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
