Im at strip club and am horny
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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