I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
