i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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