I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
