I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
