She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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