My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
