gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I am puke
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Farmville is her only friend.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
