in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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