Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
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