Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
