I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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