I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
