Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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